Coping with rejection

September 14, 2017 Comments Off on Coping with rejection

Yikes! You’ve sent out your manuscript months ago while keenly anticipating their response and when it comes; it was nothing more than bad news, a rejection! You’ve finally plucked up the courage to tell him how you feel, but he makes it clear that he just does not feel the same, you’re like a sister to him. What? Rejection! You’ve spent the better part of your life as a devoted wife and loving mother; your spouse ups and leaves you for a child, somebody half your age. Younger, prettier and perhaps blonder! Ouch! You’ve married the man of your dreams who treated you like a princess and catered to your every whim; yet he ends up abusing you either physically or verbally, often both. Yes, your Prince, the one you were going to grow old with!

 

Rejection is a part of our daily lives; it is a part of who we once were, who we are now and who we will someday become. It comes in so many forms; it can come through unrequited love, abandonment, abuse, writing, and so much more. It hurts. Rejection makes us feel as lesser versions of who we truly are. It scares us and it makes us distrustful. Often, we expect rejection and prepare for it, but more often than not, we fail to see it coming. Rejection has perhaps come right out of the blue and knocked us completely off our feet.

 

Sudden and unexpected rebuff is painful and can result in intense physical manifestations. Upon hearing the news, you can feel your heart stop for just a moment before it makes way for a nauseating thud in the pit of your stomach. You can feel dizzy, shaky and anxious all at the same time. It leaves you feeling as though you want to retreat into your own little world while you run away from all it destroys and shatters around you. Perhaps, you lose your appetite and you barely sleep at night anymore. Refutation is overwhelming, but the effects it has on you might linger far longer than necessary. Your joy is replaced by gloom and your future now seems daunting. You no longer have much interest in anything and you slowly withdraw from the world around you.

 

But, rejection too means that you tried something new; something perhaps out of your comfort zone. You took the first step towards something great and wonderful. That should never be painful. It just means that you were brave enough to believe in yourself and consider something magnificent. It is important to understand that being rejected is not personal; it could simply mean that those who had rejected you are merely not ready for you and what you have to offer yet. Don’t be so hard on yourself!

 

While processing rejection, it is important to divert your attention away from the rebuff. Take time away from it and stop punishing yourself for what you may think the reason for the refusal was. Engage with people around you and talk to them about how you feel and what you had hoped for. Listen for words of encouragement and understand again that it is never personal. Grieve your loss. Grieve the loss of that which you had hoped for and dreamed of. Give yourself time. Re-evaluate your dreams and ambitions and realize that you are far braver than you think you are. Spend time alone and write letters you never expect to send. Never allow an act of rejection to define you, instead learn from it and know your worth.

 

You may have been rejected for whatever reason by one person, BUT you may too be what someone else has been praying for. Yes, you are!

September 14, 2017

Alice VL

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