There will be days when the heartbreaks of yesterday will catch up with you. Maybe for a moment, maybe for a day, and perhaps, it might just lurk around you for a whole lot longer than is fair to your heart. It might unpredictably, reach you through a song, the mere mention of a name, an old photograph or something as ordinary as the rain. It might be the wind blowing a surprising whisper into your heart, or it might just be the way the clouds cover the sun on a day amongst many other cloud-covering days. It will claw into you, hold vindictively onto you and ruthlessly drag you flat onto the ground. It will kick the wind out of you, and it will begin to scratch at the surface of you until it has finally scraped its way into the very core of you. Deep into your heart and deep into your soul, it will pierce you until you bleed. It will hurt. It will be sore. It will remind you of a pain you can almost not imagine your heart can bear for much longer, and survive. It will exasperate you, and it might just trickle from the corner of your eyes.
But, what it can’t do … is defeat you. Not again. Never again. Be defenseless and be sad as you navigate through that moment, but never be ashamed of your fragilities. Stand up for and defend your weaknesses, because … it has a name, and its called love. It is the one thing in the world that is worth being crushed for. It is the one thing in the world that is worth fighting for. It is the one thing in this entire Universe that we all long for, and deserve. Breathe slowly until you breathe normally again. Gently, claw your way out by remembering how far you have come and how brave you have been. Love has asked you to be bolder than you ever thought you were. You have endured so much more than your courageous self could ever ask of you. You have made miracles out of moments that you should have fallen apart in. The moon and the stars are yours for the taking, so look up as you climb out and don’t ever bow your head to look down again. You’ve come home from a war, and you have fought bravely.
Inhale, exhale and celebrate your achievements. And then … stop to remember. Remember that, instead of replacing your gentle heart with a frosty one, you’ve added courage to an already delicate one. Instead of surrendering, you kept going. You’ve held your head up high and you’ve looked everyone else firmly and bravely in the eye. You’ve turned each barrier into an adventure, and you have valiantly hidden your tears behind your laughter. Remember that, even in times where you’ve doubted yourself, you have trusted your worth. You could have been blinded by the razor-sharp thorns, instead … you saw only the beauty in the roses. You could have crept along as a caterpillar, instead, you turned into a butterfly with beautiful wings that made you soar the skies.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, and never scold your battered heart. If you think that love has missed you, rejected you, rebelled against or forgotten you, it was never a journey of love to begin with. If your heart was injured by another, it was never his to bruise in the first place. If you ever feel that you’ve failed miserably in love, or did not give enough, remember that there’s not much more you can give than pure and simple love and devotion. If it was harder to be loved than to love, it was never your love to start off with.
Just wait. Be kind to yourself and wait. Wait for those butterflies, there are thousands just waiting to find a home inside of you. Wait for the trouncing of your heart each time you see his face. Wait for the quivering of your hands when the light on your phone lights up. Wait for the tremble in your voice when you hear his. Wait for the tingling of his touch. Wait for the vulnerability of your entire you, when he is close. Wait for the tremor in his own voice, when he speaks your name. Wait for the hands that search yours. Wait for the arms that fit so perfectly around you. Wait for the kiss that propels you into the stars.
Wait, because when he shows up, he will feel like home. Love will find you, always.