This was a year my feet barely touched the ground. It was an overpoweringly exhausting, soul drenching and heart-gutting year. It was a year of extremes. There was no “in-the-middle” and there was no “even-playing-ground.” There were either really up or really, really down moments … no in-betweens. There were days I had to force myself out of bed, and then there were days when I couldn’t wait for the sun to rise, and begin a new day. But, more than anything, it was a year that has taught me so much. Again, I was shown how someone I have never met, can care so much more about me, than someone I have known all my life. Again, I have not yet learnt to say no, but I have forgiven myself for that, because I have realized that that is who I am, and I like that about me. I have learnt that loyalty is not an absolute. It is not instinctive, and it is not earned. For some, loyalty is a quality they will never have the privilege of owning. I have learnt that some forms of kindness are merely disguises for “a-later-favor”, and it comes with a very expensive price tag. I have learnt that friendships are fleeting and will only endure for as long as it is beneficial to one or both parties. I have learnt that dreams for some are nightmares for others, and I have learnt that most find gratification in others failures, instead of celebrating their successes. I have learnt that loving others does not mean they will inevitably love you back, and I have learnt that sympathetic words are used to blind some into susceptibility. I have learnt that things don’t always go as planned or as we want them to go, but I have learnt to re-adjust and re-group as swiftly as possible. I have learnt that things that go wrong cannot always be fixed and that perhaps, they should stay broken. I have realized that when things fall apart … chances are they could never be the way they were before.
I have learnt more of what matters and what doesn’t and never will. I have learnt to care less of what others think of me, and more of what I think of myself. I have learnt that I cannot force control on others, and I cannot make anyone see what they don’t want to see. I have learnt to let go. As I reflect on the past 365 days, I realize that I have changed a little bit on each of those days, but … I have learnt to keep that which makes me better and discard that which brings out the worst in me. I have learnt that God speaks piercingly and clearly; I just don’t really hear Him when the storms are raging inside of me. I have learnt that someone can pitch up out of the blue with the ability to press a “pause button” on you. A random act of kindness that shows up just for you, and it makes you stop. It silences you, and then it stuns you. It changes everything, and it reminds you that hope is never very far away. It fills your heart again, and it re-ignites a fire inside of you; it reminds you once more, that you matter.
So, when the clock chimes at midnight on the very last night of this year, I know that an extraordinary new cycle is about to begin … again. That very first day, of a brand-new year will never again seem like just another ordinary day. I would never again awake to my ordinary life, surrounded by my ordinary things and settle into my ordinary routine, as I have done every other year, because this year, it is not just another ordinary day. I will remember that The Universe will hit that invisible reset button where our stars, moon, sun and planets begin their sequences again. Maybe they’re a little different to the previous year or the year before that, but their orbits and repetitions begin once more. Instead of waking up to ordinary, I will awake to the knowing that there is a little more time and one more chance to alter things and turn my ordinary, into extraordinary. A chance to make the rest of this new year, the best of my days. I will begin day one with the promise of 365 more to follow; 365 chances to turn my hopes and aspirations into realities. To leave behind all grudges, fears, sorrow, anger or regret and move on to make a fresh, brand-new beginning that is full of brilliance, bliss and contentment.
I will look forward to my new days, because they are filled with love and hope. I will do more of what my soul loves and I will love and value each new day of 2018. Love without knowing how, when or from where it came. Love straight-forwardly and without complexities or pride.
So, for all of you out there … open up your heart and let your soul take the lead. Be a companion, a friend or a guide. Bring sunshine with you wherever you go, gather up the rainbows and cast away all your fears and heartache. Don’t try and prepare your heart for the moment that love shows up, it already knows what to do. Go through your new chance and more time in a way you never thought you would; it might just take you places you never thought you’d get to.
At the stroke of midnight, there is a promise in the air for newness, and you can’t miss it. You can’t miss that feeling of wonderful that is out there for you. You can’t ignore the certainty of newness that comes with the very first day of the newest year. Perhaps, they are new ways to break old habits, or perhaps, a way to break the habit of chasing things and rather, chasing your dreams. Don’t continue with being so busy carving out a life, that life begins to carve at you. Put down the phone and meet up with someone you haven’t seen in a while. Don’t mail pictures to someone you miss; rather take pictures with someone you love. Mend a quarrel and re-discover a once-valuable friendship. Find that forgotten friend you often think of and wonder about. Dismiss all doubts and trust someone more. Keep your promises and let your resentments go. Forgive others freely, but forgive yourself too. Replace pride by saying a loud and clear, sorry to someone who deserves it. Understand. Empathize. Sympathize. Lower your expectations and demands on others, but raise your standards by always doing your best and being the very best version of yourself. Say thank you. Show thank you. Repay an old debt by doing a random act of kindness. Smile and say hello to a stranger. Speak of love and be love. Show gratitude and appreciate all that just “happens to land in your lap.” Make an effort for someone else, you just can never know what they are going through. The loudest voice can be the sorest soul. The biggest smile can veil a bucket load of tears. The kind-heartedness of someone else may hide a kindness they themselves so desperately need. When they seem fine, stop listening to their words and hear what they can’t say out loud. Don’t waste time and never miss even one moment to be a life-jacket for someone else. Be who you once needed.