“Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.” – Carol Saline
There is no better gift in this world, than a sister. From the moment she is born, your best friend has just made an appearance into your world. She will become a part of your life, and all that you will someday, become. Sisters are little extensions of you; they are the friends you know will never leave.
Today, six years ago, my sister passed away suddenly. We were not related by blood, rather by marriage. She came into my life a few months before my eighteenth birthday, and from our very first meeting, I felt as though my soul had been looking for hers almost all my life.
I can honestly say that when she died, I was shocked, overwhelmed and crushed. It was too sudden. There was nothing to indicate to me, or to anyone else that she was about to leave us, and this world behind. There was no goodbye. There was nothing; nothing at all. I remember going through the next few days as though I was surrounded by a foggy mist. I never thought she could die. I never thought that anything could take her away from us. I was angry, I was heartbroken and I just couldn’t understand. As I tried to make sense of it all, I became angrier and I became bitter.
It was not right. Not her. She can’t die. She was not the dying type. She was so big in my world, how could she have died? She was never supposed to die. She was my sister, my best friend. She was a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister and a best friend. She had no right to die. She had no business to leave us, just like that and without any warning.
And finally, when the reality slowly set in, I became sad. I began to focus on all that I had lost. I became sadder. I had lost the only person I could share my deepest, darkest secrets and thoughts with. I had lost the one person who understood me completely; the one person I never needed to explain myself to. I had lost a connection; one I could never have with either of my genetically related sisters. I would go through days where I could barely get out of bed, and then I would go through days where I would berate her for leaving us. As I was trying to make sense of all the unexpected emotions that were raging inside of me, I began thinking that perhaps, if we could figure out why, then maybe she could come back. I was sure that, that was all we needed to do.
It never happened that way. In the end, she was gone and she would stay gone.
When enough time had passed, I began to remember the times we spent together. The chaos we would create together. The memories we made together. The joy of having one another during the years we were given with each other.
I began to focus on all that I had gained, instead of all I had lost.
I had family. She took me in, and made me her sister. She loved me. I was important to her, and I mattered.
She taught me that family is who you choose and that DNA will never dictate who you are, or who you become.
I learnt that love comes from somewhere deep inside of you, and that being related by blood, is no guarantee of love.
I gained many years of complete and utter joy, because of her. I gained a best friend who was ready to take on the world with me.
I gained a warrior, a protector and a defender.
I won’t lose that. Just because she has stepped out, and into another world, does not take that away from me. I have the memories of a beautiful friendship and a wonderful, beautiful sister who came into my life at a time I needed it more than anything or anyone in this universe. And … when days are grim and look bleak … I think of her, and I wonder what she would do, or what she would say. Her presence remains and often scolds me, still.
She taught me how short life is. And not because everyone says it’s short; IT IS SHORT. Life is not a guarantee, it is simply a journey. It can change in the blink of an eye. We cannot cheat death, and we cannot alter our destiny.
We must learn to love those who serve us well, and let go of those who don’t.
I will miss her, each day of my life, but my sister, she will always be.
Life … is only one door. We can walk out at any time, and into our next. We don’t know when our last day is, but more importantly, we don’t know when our loved ones’ last day would be. Treasure them and cherish each moment.
From the moment we are born, our countdown to our next world begins.
You are here now. This is your world now. Live it. Love. And love some more.