From the novel, Afterlight

· I have to be where he is ... ·

July 4, 2018 0 Comments

The rain came crashing down in front of her, as thunder and lightning lit up the sky. She could barely see the road in front of her and knew how fitting the weather was. She wondered if the raindrops, and the enormous bolts of lightning knew that he had just left her world. She couldn’t help but wonder, if they were in fact, lighting up his way as he left the earth.

What she did know was, that it would be the darkest day of her entire life, no matter how bright the lightning was, or how low the stars would lay above her. It would be the one day that would be remembered for finally destroying her heart, and ultimately shattering her soul for once and for all. It would become the day that she was sure, she could never survive.

She silently prayed to God to have mercy on her heart and end her life on earth too. She begged Him to reach down and take her to him.

“I have to be where he is …”

She shouted out through the tears that were gushing ruthlessly from her eyes. She wanted to turn around and go back to him. She wanted to hold him against her and breathe new life into him. It never once crossed her mind that he could die. She never once believed or considered the fact that his life could be over without any prior warning.

For the first time in her life, she felt completely alone and abandoned. She felt punished for all that had happened to her, and she blamed herself for angering God.

She glanced around her and noticed how people were beginning their days just as the sun was about to rise. She was angry that they were going about their lives, as though nothing was different, when her entire existence was falling apart around her.

When nothing mattered to her anymore, and when she could hardly breathe, she held her breath, desperate to stop breathing, but when her body took over and breathed for her, she slammed her fists into the steering wheel and cried out in desperation.

She wanted the world to feel what she was feeling. She wanted the strangers on the road around her, to take the smiles off their faces, and understand the pain she was in. She wanted the world to stop and become silent for him.

They had no right to start their days and carry on, as though he was never here.

He sat down on the bed beside her, as she lay with her back towards him. He gently touched her shoulder, before she slowly turned to face him. He was horrified to detect the dark circles around her bloodshot and distended eyes.

Her beautiful blue eyes had turned a dark, misty grey and her skin tone had turned ashen. Her long, blond tresses were wildly trying to find a place on her head, and when she peaked through her hair at him, he knew that she had finally given up, and entirely surrendered to the darkness that had overwhelmed her.

“I have to be where he is …”